Soooo: I did a thing…

I am doing a thing I suppose I should say. I’m going on another cool adventure!!! A REAL adventure this time though. Don’t get me wrong: I LOVED my Cuba adventure it was so much fun and so relaxing and it did the job I needed it to. It pulled my out of my comfort zone gently and safely. I made to the airport (ya: I actually had nothing to do with getting THERE part: I did not cry the whole way there though: just for a minute or so!) I got through the airport part and the flying part and the being all alone at a resort full of people: I got through all the parts all by myself!  It was a great way to “ease” in  to be away from home; albeit a super cushy clean and fancy with butlers doing everything for me, “ease” in. I had fun, I will go back and do it again and I will love it just as much. It just didn’t feel like “me” though. Turns out I’m not a sit around and just…sit around person. Sure there were fun activities and excursions that I experienced but when they were done…sit by the pool or the beach or at the bar were the options. At the end of my 5 days I was ready to come home.

My new found sense of adventure (and a little pinch of just needing to get the hell out of Dodge again) this time is taking me to Nicaragua for 11 whole days!!

This adventure is going to be the other way: this adventure is all on me. I will show up in a foreign country where I speak a fair number of words of the language, I understand the currency well enough, oddly they apparently don’t use addresses there so navigation is going to be tricky and also the monkeys have rabies: some of them anyway. I am super lucky to have my best-est buddy in the world meeting me there, who happens to be not only an avid solo traveler; but is also fluent enough in the language and the culture that we will be great! There will be shenanigans I assure you! There will be at some point some sitting on a stoop and solving all of life’s stupid annoying problems. There will be sister-friend vent sessions and very long over due re-connection (thanks life! LOL) I do plan on venturing off on  my own at some points (trust me buddy you will be glad to be rid of me!) to do some exploring. I have an empty camera card, a full playlist on my phone, an open mind and as always; an open heart to fully absorb myself into the beauty of the county and the culture. I fully intend to do as much as I can while I am there and see something incredible and new each day. I foresee this being what I hope will be journey number one of many. My heart has always longed for adventure. I love the life I have lived until I suddenly didn’t anymore. Life tends to change and mine has changed drastically and painfully. I have forgiven for what I can and let go of the rest. I carries what I can and will continue to do what I need to to salvage the important things. I have had to let go of somethings that I will never recover from and I am changed and possibly damaged as a result: I am hopeful this “damage” is reparable. I am coming to terms slowly with “this”. I truly am getting stronger everyday: (thank you for saying that: I needed to hear it today). I came to the conclusion earlier this week that I am too old for the “stuff” I have been dealing with: I am also to young to feel this old. My fear has left me and been replaced with a spunk I did not know myself capable of. I find myself occasionally wondering what would have been if I was permitted or capable of this prior to now? I tend to shut those thoughts down quickly as the are pointless as I refuse to live in the past.  I had so many intentions of travel and even made plans at certain points in the past few years; but they always got waylaid somehow. I still dream of Iceland. I still long for a road trip around the States and a trip across Canada: someday I will do all of those.  Life has thrown me up and down and all around and landed me in a place where it feels like this is what I need to do: it feels like moving my feet is what needs to happen to keep me still.  As much as I will always long for “home”; I will equally long for adventure. I am looking forward to loving my life again.

I will do my best to post my adventure here when I can!!

Adios por ahora!!! (they are gonna hate me there…)


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