And Away I Go

It’s early: earlier than you think right now. It takes me minutes to write these posts but twice or three times longer to edit and correct my atrocious spelling (I spelled atrocious so very wrong spell check was all huh????…it took a minute to spell it close enough to right for spell check to get it!). Today is the day I go. I have been packed since 4:30 pm yesterday (let’s GO NOW while I’m still brave!!) and my coat and the shoes I am wearing (well…when I decide what shoes I am wearing :s) are at the front door. Yesterday I did my last errands and paid the things that needed to be paid. I checked in with the kids school and was given so many words of encouragement and congratulations for doing this, well I cried. It was a good day. I was happy all day. I found music to keep me up..thank you Stevie Nicks. I was not polite to a few chosen people and felt good about that. I remembered at one point to tell my sister I was going…oops. Sorry. I asked a hundred thousand questions (have you ever been able to feel someones exasperation from 33 kms away??? I love me!) I remembered at 7pm i forgot to eat….did something about that. Then I went to bed…and was too excited to sleep much and now here we are. 3 cups of coffee in and I am going to regret that in a few hours. I’ll just say sorry the energy that will hit at like 11 am this morning. Sorry.  At 10 am I am walking out that door. I’m not as nervous as I thought I would be. I am prepared. I made copies of all the things and will hand them off to the right person, I have left all the “just in case” information where it needs to be. The right people have the right phone numbers. I am all set. I am waiting for the few “have a good trip” texts I know I will get and I will replay with my promises to take lots of pictures and post them to let people know I am good. I know its only 5 days that I will be gone. I know everything will be fine for me there. I know too, however, that anything can happen while I am gone. In all reality that amount of time is enough time for things to go sideways. Fast. That is where my nervousness is sitting right now. It can’t though. I can’t let it. Truly, honestly I know that if things are going to sideways on e: they would go that way if I am here or there or anywhere (perhaps with Dr. Suess..). That’s a big thing to recognize. That’s a hard pill to swallow: realizing that I have sat waiting for things to wrong for such a long time. Again, it was a simple thing that corrected that thought. Basically the thing said, Robyn, the “stuff” that happened:  happened. Fucking stop. That’s actually about it. Riiiight. Connect that with a book I re-read this week with all the other choices I have made and: oh crap. Right again….again. And I decide to stop. I move past it. I live. There are other things, real things, that I am nervous about today. They aren’t so silly. They are reality and experience based. I’ll get over them once they are here and then I will be good or not but I’ll deal (Anticipation is maybe a better word than nerves in this case). So I’m going. I’m getting in a car then I’m getting on a plane! I’m going to the beach!! I am excited and happy and counting the hours until I get told it’s time to go!

Nos vemos proto mis amigos!!!

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