Last night I found happiness and magnificent wonderfulness and camaraderie in the grocery store of all places. I was very not happy to be in the grocery store. Not my favorite place to be: money…bright lights and generally grumpy people (mostly for the same reason). I have never enjoyed grocery shopping especially alone. I have always found it overwhelming for some reason. I have always been “bad” at it: cause I hate it. Which is OK….i shouldn’t have to be good at every aspect of being a grown up and if i need company to shop: no big deal. But suddenly, the horror of the grocery store (ok: maybe that is a bit too dramatic) Turned beautiful! The lights became warm and inviting, the food all suddenly looked kind of delicious (weird) and the people!!! The people, me included, became happy and kind and it was all thanks to: Mr. Billy Joel.
The instore radio started playing “For The Longest Time”. Everyone knows that song. If you don’t think you know the song: trust me you know the song. It’s the song you hum to and tap your foot to and if you’re me you just make up your own frigging words and sing along anyway. It’s the song that when it plays on the radio in the car you turn it up and don’t mind sitting through a red light drumming your fingers on the steering wheel. I started singing away quietly and humming a bit and maybe a bounce showed up in my step: this was weird feeling to me. This kind of conduct has been missing from me for awhile now. My mission, as a parent, was to show my daughter to always have fun and singing in the store is fun. Singing in the car is fun (even when someone is all: Hey! Who sings this song? and I would be all I think it’s pink? And they would be all: Then maybe let her sing it. Buzz kill). Boom! Another hit to the chin about something I stopped doing when I stopped doing everything except being fake happy. As I turned down an aisle, still humming away, I noticed this man singing away too!!! We kind of smiled at each other and carried on; but then I heard from the next aisle this dude singing away nice and loud!! I totally hurried around the corner and smiled at him and he gave me high five as he walked by with his cart. This lady down the cat food aisle was humming. A man by the bread was tapping his toe to the beat! The guy stocking the shelves in the freezer aisle was definitely rocking out. I gave up on shopping and just ran around trying to catch everyone singing together. It wasn’t like a dramatic flash mob or anything. There were no serious dance moves: It was just simply beautiful! We all knew that each of us were singing along. We all acknowledged each other. We all complimented each other in our own little way (thank you high five guy!!!). We were all friendly to each other. We all made each of us have a better day. Every single one us of had a smile on our faces. Billy Joel just completely helped me find another piece of me. The part of me that was always able to know that there is happiness and light in the world. I am a dreamer. I get excited about things that people think are unimportant. I act like a goof in public and I don’t care what people think of me. I don’t very often take myself too seriously: I am trying so so hard to get back to here. I’m loud. I ask too many questions because I want to know everything there is to know. I become enamored with little habits and quirks that the people I love have, and it makes my heart happy to see them. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that happiness is right there with me at all times. That sometimes you just need to hold you chin a little higher in the cereal aisle and pay attention and you will see it too. This won’t help me solve any problems. This won’t pay any bills. This won’t make any of the hard stuff go away any faster. It won’t correct mistakes I have made or change the past: what it will do though is help me find a way to make those things a little easier to get through. I promise you: when you think you’re alone; you really honestly and truly are not alone. There will always be someone singing along to a song that you know in a grocery store and if that makes you happy: let it. There will always be someone noticing those things about you that are so simply perfect and endearing it makes their heart sing. Let something: anything make you happy when you need it to. Let those happy moments remind you that you can’t look for or create happiness: its right there, right where you are, waiting for you to see it: waiting for you to just be happy. (Also: it’s mean to tell people not to sing in the car: you just turn the music up and drown their tone deaf ass down!)