J – April 15, 2014

is for Just do it…

I am in a funk. Not the typical mid-way-through-the-blog-challenge funk. No, this is a real down and dirty all out finding-it-hard-to-brush-my-hair kinda funk. Worse part is? I don’t know why. I don’t know what caused it. Or when it started. Or when it’s going to end. It’s not as if this hasn’t happened before (See pretty much every post prior to the challenge) I just really thought, or was hoping anyway, that this was over. Maybe I just hoped that “this” wouldn’t hit at a time like now. Maybe it’s because it’s so cold today. Maybe it’s because I am just feeling alone right now because, well….just because. I kinda hate this…I know “this” is what makes me..me. All the things “I am” are because of…whatever “this” is. I just wish “it” didn’t have to suck so bad.

I know what I have to do. I have to just push through it. I have to fight this. I have to take a breath and blow it all away. I have to get up. I have to stop feeling like crying because if this carries on much longer I just may do that.  I have to write these darn posts and get caught up. I should probably stop watching sappy movies (TOTALLY watching frigging Twilight right now….what is WRONG with me?!?!?) I should turn off the somber music and find something happier (goodbye Evanescence hello Paramore…not much difference I know).  I definitely need to brush my hair ( I have pony-tail head right now) I can do this. I always do this. I can get through this. I have to just….do it.  I am trying sir. I am . 

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