Well slap my face and call me….

Actually don’t slap me, that’s not very nice at all. Hands are for helping not for hurting after all! So anyway…I suppose it is within the “laws” of journalism and blogging and writing to admit when you make a mistake and publish a retraction of said incorrect statement. SO I kinda sorta owe all y’all a wee bit of an apology. Somewhere buried within the depths of this blog I said things like “NEVER AGAIN” and “single forever is fine with me” and my favorite …”if I am alone ,the only one who can hurt me is ME”. So, I wish to take this moment to retract all the fore-mentioned statements that I will attribute to being hurt and scared and bitter (who me?? hard to believe I know!). The things is…quite simply: I was wrong. Looking back, as we all must do from time to time in life if for no other reason than to gauge our place in life, I was basing those emotions on the way I allowed myself to perceive what I thought a relationship was, instead of what one SHOULD be. The fuck Robyn…seriously!!! I mean somewhere in my head I knew that there was no way that the way shit went down for “past me”, was “normal” by any standard. If it was then everyone would be single….even the lobsters (they mate for life don’t cha know!). What I didn’t know however, was that finding that “someone”, finding your very own “extraordinary” and knowing right away – straight up, that yea…I am gonna marry this boy someday, is not scary. It’s not scary at all..in fact the feeling is quite peaceful and exhilarating (thanks yo!) . All of a sudden “future you” tells “past” you not to worry anymore. She’s all “Bitch…relax! I totally got this! you can sit down now!” and then past you gets all moody and goes to sit in a corner and starts singing songs about eating worms cause she can’t tell present you what to do anymore, and present you is all THANK GOD cause you kinda sorta (totally) HATE past you cause she is such a fucking Debbie Downer all the time. I guess what I am saying is this: When we, as a species, get hurt we do whatever we can to protect ourselves from getting hurt again (hot stove..you’ll only touch it once kinda thing). We build up walls and defences to keep anything out that might cause that hurt to resurface ever again. Behind those walls though, you have to take time to reflect and to learn from the choices you make (please don’t call them mistakes! thats something else I have learned…there are no mistakes only opportunities to learn), you have to take time to take a mental inventory of what you have in your life thats most important and what it is that you need to make the rest of your life…the best of your life. Then you HAVE to…no matter how hard it is…take those walls down. Go slow…(baby steps are very much fine here) But take them down. Trust yourself. When you can do that; trusting others again is not that hard. Open your heart to those around you…accept their hugs and advise and cups of tea and bottles of wine. Accept their compliments …if your best friend tells you you are pretty she means it (by the way…I think you’re very pretty!!). Above all you have to trust that some where out there everyone has a someone and somehow, someday you will meet and the world will never be the same again…for anyone! The past month and half (I know…6 weeks is so not very long but trust me…or don’t I guess I really don’t care!) has been crazy and amazing and scary at times (but that’s ok!). I feel a peace in my heart that I have never felt before. I used to think I was missing a piece of my heart…that when I sent a certain someone packing that I must have let him take a piece of me with him. Turns out, I was wrong there too…he never actually had any part of me ever. It turns out, that no one can actually take something from you they don’t deserve. It turns out… my heart was whole and intact this entire time and all it took to realize it was a note from a boy, asking a girl on a date like it was the first time for them both. I have said it before and I will say it a million times more…Life is funny sometimes. I guess you just have to choose whether to let it laugh at you or laugh with you. I choose the latter….because fuck you, I’m a unicorn! Thats why!. Happily Sometimes After?? I think the answer is clear. ❤

3 thoughts on “Well slap my face and call me….

  1. Very well said gf. I too have put up walls in my past. One can only be hurt so many times. I myself have walked in your shoes and HELL yes I also felt my heart broken and twisted. It takes a very special man to break down the walls and get back into our hearts. I too am very lucky I found that special someone I hope to spend the rest of my life with. He has seen me at my best and when I have cried uncontrollably and you also were there for me you are a beautiful person inside and out and for your friendship I am forever grateful. Don’t ever change who you are I love this new found friend with all my heart. Let the walls down take it slow and sit back and enjoy this wonderful ride

    Love me

    Like

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