Wine isn’t enough…

So I will blog about it here! (Again I am going to rant so you know the deal…if you don’t want to hear it, don’t read it! Also please don’t try to bust up my blog again either. That was very annoying ūüė¶ ) I am happy to say it was a good week for me emotionally, a few bad moments but, at least I am having bad moments and not days. And it’s been awhile since I have had those bad days turn into bad weeks so I must be getting closer to being better. (Praise Baby Jesus or whoever it is that’s looking out for me!)

I have to say though the moments that were bad were REALLY bad. Dealing with the blog issue took a out of me for sure. Not because of the technicality of the issue, but the reason for the issue was hard to handle. Which is why it’s 4 days later that I am writting about. My Rule #1 is NEVER¬†discipline¬†your kids or blog when you are angry. It won’t end well for anyone. ¬†Here’s the story… I was added to another website as an admin “accidentally” by the owner and granted access to the backend of the site (giving¬†me permission – if I was evil – to change the password, make posts, see stats and the like) and I didn’t know how to undo it or how it happend. I emailed security tech support right away because I was unsure if my site was at risk. When I didn’t hear back from them that day I emailed the owner of the other site and let them know what had happened and instead of emailing me back or behaving like an adult, this person flipped shit and posted some really nasty and untrue ( not to mention defiling) things about me on a help forum, using my WordPress user name which would link back to here where I was brave/stupid enough to post my real name. Hello world, Please don’t Google me to gain insite on my¬†character because someone had a temper tantrum once and acted like a baby. Awesome eh? ¬†Don’t worry though, I did respond to the post with the reply I had received from WordPress staff (reassuring me I was safe and, I indeed WAS added to that site BY the owner , proving that I didn’t do a damn thing wrong!). The moderator of the forum told this person to basically grow up and closed the thread so she couldn’t say anything else nasty about me(yay to that lady!). The staff member removed the link for me and all was well. The other website owner had another temper tantrum and deleted her website AND her personal blog (I was¬†apparently¬†stalking her ??) so that is that right??

Well…not quite. The owner of the website I was added to just happened to be….the ex’s new girlfriend!!! ¬†Shocking eh?? I was curious HOW it happened so I sent off a few more emails and searched through some forum posts and learned the only way I found to do that is to a) manually add the person by username or email address in your website/blog settings or b) while logged in to your account, search for the persons blog/website, click onto their profile, click through to the Gravatar website, locate their user name and click on link to this user. (Lots of digging and clicking!) Pfft who’s stalking WHO?? Not to mention that since this all happened the ex (we share custody of our Lamb remember??) won’t return my phone calls. And we had this VERY awkward moment outside her school this morning :s ¬†It was like he wanted to say something but wouldn’t and I wanted to ask if he knew..but didn’t want to open the can of wormies if I didn’t have to ya know? So we were like umm hi…umm cool….k bye! While our daughter looked at us like we were both nuts! Awkward!! ¬†I very diligently saved all the emails, took screen shots of my dashboard and printed a copy of the forum post JUST in case I need it. Here’s hoping I won’t.

I truly just wish it didn’t happen in the first place. I am so tired of this bs. I hate that I feel like I have to defend myself in a situation when all I did was basically wake up that morning! It’s always something though: there is always a next time. I am always hopeful that THIS time will be the last, she will figure out that she should just stop because she messed up and got caught with her hand in the cookie jar (and it’s my FUCKING cookie jar!!!) but it never seems to stop. I always then wonder what she says to other people; the ex included, about me. I worry (and I shouldn’t, I know) what kind of damage her stories and bs have on our ability to just get along well enough to make it easy (it’s so not easy right now)? I¬†understand¬†that he HAS to believe her when she says something to him simply because they are together. When you love someone, you are honest with them, simple as that. So when she tells him stuff he doesn’t ask for proof or even¬†consider¬†asking for my story because he thinks why would she lie? I don’t need proof because I believe her: The end. Which then just gives her the go ahead to keep acting like this and lying to him about everything and pretty much ensuring he and I hate each other forever, all because she is insecure about their relationship. And yes, I know that is to be expected when she entered into the relationship via¬†infidelity. Once a cheater always a cheater right? (Wrong, people can change given the right reason.) But seriously dude! you’ve known me for 11 years now. You have to know me better than that. ¬†And lady for reals: move on. Get over it and leave me out of it. You ended us along time ago and neither of us wants to go there again. He is with you and probably plans on keeping it that way (why would he be there otherwise??)…you have to know that! Your’re engaged to the guy now for sobbing out loud! (not to mention that you took my daughter shopping and HAPPENED to be looking at baby cribs and told her “When Daddy and I have a baby, you can pick out the crib!! wtf??) CAn’t you just be happy with your life as it is. How is spending all of you energy worrying about your fiances ex girlfriend good for YOUR relationship. I know that if my boyfriend was this obsessed with my ex…well I would be seriously creeped out and would probably be single again (I am still single y’all just speaking metaphorically). ¬†Seriously, this is all just so mind fucky I can’t figure what to do about it anymore. See what I mean? Wine just isn’t enough.

One thought on “Wine isn’t enough…

  1. How about wine, jello shots, tequila and cheesecake? It sucks that you have to deal with this crap and for so long. I wish that she would just mind her own beeswax.


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