Teacher: Hey Mother of my student! Since you are such a fail-tastic Momma I am calling to tell you that your kid had a diorama depicting the eco-system of the desert due yesterday! Isn’t that great??
Me: A dia-what about what now?? And I have to make dessert?? (one track mind was definitely thinking about cheese cake)
Teacher: <sigh> a DIORAMA – a model??? about the eco system of the DESERT…you know camels, scorpions, cacti (I lol’d!!) It was assigned as a take home project 2 WEEKS ago and the students were to hand it in yesterday.
Me: oh. Umm cool. So what do I have to do? Make one?? Gimme an hour I’ll whip something up! How many k’s are there in eco system??
Teacher: <BIG sigh> Miss. Wilson…it is important that Lucas does this on his own. Please make sure he does this.
Me: A’ight cool. I’ll get him on it! (I am sooo doing this for him!)
So as I ran off to google what the hell a diorama was and then an eco system, I then tried to figure out how to incorporate star wars lego Princess Leia into the thing. Crap. doesn’t fit. boo.
We spent the night making scorpions, rocks, cacti (again LOL!!), camels and lizards out of modelling clay. We painted up a shoe box and borrowed some sand from the beach to make it real. Ryleigh got down to work painting EVERYTHING within her reach pink and coated it with glitter (seriously Ke$ha get out of my house!!!) and pretty soon we had us the MOST KICK AS DIORAMA OF THE DESERT ECO SYSTEM EVER!!!
Fail #1 – leaving diorama on kitchen table to dry
Fail #2 – leaving dog in the house while driving Ryleigh to school
Fail# 3 – seriously?? you need to ask??
Long story short: Dog jumps on table. Diorama falls on floor. Dog eats camel and scorpion and cacti (no longer funny). Fuck. So I just spent my morning re-creating this fucking diorama and now I get to wait to see if the desert shows up on my lawn later today! There’s the good time I was hoping for! Maybe Lukey should hand that in! Dear Science Teacher. Here’s your eco system. And also a demonstration of how the digestive system of a dog works. bonus marks? I think so!
Check back later for picture of the finished diorama. Right now I need a drink.